Life in the Slow Lane All I want for Christmas….

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Dear Santa,

Another year has gone by and it is time for me to write my “wish list” for you to receive the night before Christmas, along with whole wheat, no gluten biscuits and lactose free milk. I hope you can be generous this year because I have some very special requests. I have been good and I can send you my updated CV, with references, if that would make any difference with regards to your generosity…

As the contestants often say in beauty pageants, I want “World Peace”. However, as that is impossible, perhaps you can give me just a little piece of peace and a small slice of happiness to take to Haiti, Syria, Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Myanmar – to name but a few. Santa, for Christmas during the endless trench battles of the Great War (1914 – 1918) the fighting stopped for Christmas and troops got out of their trenches to shake hands with the enemy and even play soccer… Allowing the children a little piece of peace and quiet, a square meal and a small gift would be great.

Please give me a president who will love and not hate; smile and not frown; share hope and not despair; be generous, but know where the money will come from; build bridges, not walls, be Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist and whatever, but not a Supremist – except where it comes to appointing judges to the highest court in the land.

On a lighter side, Santa, could I please have an iPhone 8 before anyone else gets one! I know the “7” has only recently come out but, as I only have a 4, I am in real need of an upgrade. My iPhone 5 ended up in the swimming pool when I dove in fully clothed to amuse the grandchildren; my billfold has dried out with a few “wrinkles”.

Next, and I certainly don’t want to be greedy, can I have one of those wireless Bose speakers; they are so cool and make a fantastic sound. However, not much use to me, unless you can get me that “first edition” iPhone 8….

Then there is the question of a puppy. I have had dogs all my life and they have been amongst my best friends. Current four legged friend is getting long in the tooth and hides deep in his kennel if anyone should ring the front doorbell. I think an Afghan would be best, but one that has died and been freeze dried and subsequently wired up to deliver fierce barks and blood curdling screeches which I can activate from any room in the house.

Finally, I have one further request if you could see yourself rising to a new level of generosity…. I am going to the Casino late on the evening of December 31st. I will only be taking 20 dollars with me and I need to come out with $20,000. I am sure this is not too much to ask; after all, it is not your money and if a slice came my way it would make all the difference for 2017. Yes, I will give 10% to charity…

The night before Christmas will be a very long for you and so I will leave you a “shot” of something special beside the milk. Bon voyage and many, many, thanks. Happy Christmas!!

Yours passionately,

Santiago Eneldo
(Send me your Christmas list and I will make sure it gets to Santa –